40 seconds
by PerfectMisfit
Summary: I was Kira. I was a criminal. I'm Yagami Light now - a man who has just 40 seconds left to live. Light's last thoughts. Reviews would be appreciated. OOC


Disclaimer: I do not own Deathnote.

My first DN fic. Excuse the blatant OOCness.

* * *

_40 seconds..._

I'm dying. I have 40 seconds left to live.

_39 seconds..._

I wanted a new world. I wanted a world without criminals, when I am a criminal myself. I wanted the impossible.

_38 seconds..._

I thought I was punishing those who deserved punishment. I never considered the number of innocent people who died because of my greed - Kiyomi, L, Rem...I hurt Misa in the process. I caused my father's death. I spewed out lie after lie to the ones I love and trust. I considered killing Sayu. I considered killing my sister...my own sister...

_37 seconds..._

I was a teenager who was carried away by power. I thought I could control it. I thought I was doing the right thing. I saw it as a game I played to ease boredom.

I played a dangerous game. And I lay dying here because of it.

_36 seconds..._

I'm an adult male now. I know what I did was wrong. I only realise it when I feel the effects of the Death Note. It's too late to change anything now. My guilt will not bring back the people I killed. My guilt will not change the fact that I killed them.

_35 seconds..._

Is this how the people I killed felt? Did they feel scared, like I do now? Did 40 seconds seem like an eternity to them?

Were they even aware of the fact that they would never wake up again?

_34 seconds..._

I am scared. I don't want to admit it - I don't have the strength to admit it. I want someone to hold me and comfort me. I want someone to tell me everything will be fine.

_33 seconds..._

The warehouse ceiling blurs and becomes a swirl of grey and white. My hands tremble as I raise them slightly.

40 seconds is a long period of time.

_32 seconds..._

Is this what death is like? Where will I go after death? Ryuk told me once that those who use the Death Note go to neither Hell, nor Heaven. Where will I go then?

_31 seconds..._

I loved my family. I really did. It was painful to watch my father's life slip away slowly in front of my eyes.

The fact that, the only thing I could think of then was my plan pains me even more than losing him.

_30 seconds..._

Will I be found? Will people cry for me? Otou-san. Okaa-san. Sayu....

_29 seconds..._

My breath hitches and a lone tear slides off the side of my face. I want to brush the tear away, but I can't lift my hand to do so.

_28 seconds..._

I never thought death would claim me when I'm still so young.

_27 seconds..._

Ryuk is floating over me. I try to focus on him, but my vision is blurring. The warehouse spins faster than it did before.

_26 seconds..._

I always thought I would accept death wordlessly when it claimed me. Now the prospect of death scares me.

_25 seconds..._

I see L's face. His empty, obsidian eyes bore into mine. I try to touch him but my arms feel like lead. I wonder if he is real or if I am bordering on being delusional. I can't tell the difference between what is real and what isn't anymore.

_24 seconds..._

I hear L's voice. It's loud and it vibrates in my ears.

_23 seconds..._

"So you really were Kira, Light..." I wince at his comment.

_22 seconds..._

L's face vanishes and is replaced by Misa's. She looks real to me. She reaches out and strokes my face. Her hands are gentle.

_21 seconds..._

"Oh Light..." I don't pull away from her touch, although she sends pain ripping through me when she lays a hand on my arm.

_20 seconds..._

Misa pecks my forehead. Her lips are warm. She isn't real. She's a hallucination. But in my delusional state, her embrace seems real enough to me and brings me relief.

_19 seconds..._

Misa is no longer by my side. I am truly alone.

_18 seconds..._

Time is ticking away at a snails pace. I wish I would die quickly and painlessly, but that isn't going to happen.

_17 seconds..._

My father's image looms over me. His expression is grim.

_16 seconds..._

I wait for him to say he's disappointed in me.

_15 seconds..._

I wait.

_14 seconds..._

It never comes. He smiles sadly at me.

_13 seconds..._

Will I be forgiven - by the families of my victims?

_12 seconds..._

Will my family accept the fact that I was Kira?

_11 seconds..._

I was Kira. I was a criminal. Now, I am Yagami Light. I am a dying man.

_10 seconds..._

Pain blossoms in my chest and rips through me.

_9 seconds..._

I try to scream out at the pain that's coursing through my battered body, but I can only manage groans and moans.

_8 seconds..._

I shake pathetically. Did Ryuk kill me out of pity? I was injured rather badly from the gunshots. Did Ryuk choose to end my life to put me out of pain?

_7 seconds..._

I wonder...is it death I'm scared of or leaving the life I led prior to my death I'm scared of. Am I scared of leaving Sayu and mother? I can vaguely make out Ryuk's cackling.

_6 seconds..._

"Good...bye..." I mumble through teeth gritted in pain.

_5 seconds..._

I'm about to die.

_4 seconds..._

Life is really short. Ryuk's laughter beings to sound dull.

_3 seconds..._

I don't want to die. Not yet.

_2 seconds..._

Not yet...someone...help...it's pointless to ask for help. I am going to die.

_1 second..._

Everything around me fades to black.

* * *

Reviews and concrit would be nice ;).


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